Friday, November 17, 2006

Leaving.

I'm not certain whether she has clocked out on me or if I am giving up, but the end result is the same. I'm not going to keep fighting to prove that I am worth her time and attention.

I'm done.
I'm out.

Being alone is better than being ignored.

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11 comments:

Andrea said...

I'd have to agree with you there, although I don't know anything about your situation. Maybe if you act like you've lost interest it will spark her to persue you more :) Good Luck!

November 17, 2006 11:27 AM
Mr. B said...

Alas, no. I am past the point of wanting to spark any interest in her. Now, I just want to get as far away as I possibly can, while incurring as little emotional damage as I possibly can.

She's already hurt me deeply TWICE this week. And I sucked it up and just took the first one. I don't have any reserve strength left to absorb this one. I just don't want to give her this much access to me anymore. She doesn't apparently think about what her words do to me.

Sometimes, there's not much difference between "cruel" and "careless". They both hurt.

Blagh.
What a terrible day.

Mr.B

November 17, 2006 11:57 AM
Anonymous said...

Hang in there, Mr. B. There's lots of us out here who love you and your writing. More than you realize, probably.

November 17, 2006 3:59 PM
Anonymous said...

There are maybe, some good memories, at the least?

November 17, 2006 4:12 PM
Mr. B said...

Thank you, guys, for the kind words. I genuinely appreciate it. I am very happy that you're here.

And yes, there are some good memories with this girl. Absolutely. Lord, yes.

This would, perhaps, hurt less if there weren't.

Words fail me, right now.

Mr.B

November 17, 2006 4:27 PM
Anonymous said...

I wouldn't cut it off, completely, then.

if there were good memories then there must be friendship, possible.

November 17, 2006 5:00 PM
Mr. B said...

Honestly, I don't know what is going to happen. It's stupid, but for right now, I am just focused on getting the last of my things out of her apartment and getting away.

I know little else, beyond that.

I am so sad right now, guys. So sad. I don't want to go into what she did, but she wrote something about how much she misses and ex and if he would have her, she would go be with him. Can you imagine how much that hurts?

I feel absolutely irrelevant to her. Discarded. Devalued. Temporary.

It has been a very hard day. And tonight isn't going to be any better.

What a terrible, fucking day.

Mr.B

November 17, 2006 5:07 PM
Anonymous said...

Prolly didnt know how much itd hurt u. When do u have 2 see her face to face??

November 17, 2006 6:18 PM
Bran said...

While I don't know Becca, or enough to sleuth out details beyond what she and you have said,I have to agree with the sentiment behind the youth comment. Not saying “girl” is okay for what she did or that gives a person a free ticket in words and action. However many times we only learn what's okay and what's not by experience. Age plays a big part of that. The lesson she needs to learn is that some truths should never be spoken. Then again, if she truly feels this way, wouldn’t you like to know now rather than 6 months from now? But that’s neither here nor there. You are hurting and I am truly sorry for that. I send you all the care, concern,and hugs I can from the BG State.

November 18, 2006 8:32 AM
Anonymous said...

The big problem here is that you were dating a girl, and you're as gay as a fieldmouse.

Start datin' dudes! You'll be happier!


You know, because you're so GAY!

November 20, 2006 10:08 AM
Mr. B said...

Sometimes, I don't think that you're making an argument, so much as you're selling me on an idea. For personal reasons.

This fieldmouse is ready to kick your ass.

Mr.B

November 20, 2006 10:18 AM

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